What Not To Do When A Loved One Has Elderly Depression

When your loved one has been diagnosed with elderly depression, you may be tempted to go out of your way to do things for her or him. In the same way, you may also act in some ways that are brought on by the depression your loved one evidences, but in some cases your actions can do more harm than good.

Here is a list of what not to do when a loved one has elderly depression:

* Do not treat your loved one like an invalid. It may be tempting to take over tasks to make life for that person easier and more enjoyable, but if your loved one is capable of performing the task for her or himself, taking it away from her or him robs the person of a sense of accomplishment.

* Refrain from being judgmental; do not scrutinize your loved one's attempt at making lunch for you (which may end up in a burned mess of eggs and potatoes) or going for a walk (only to turn back at the first corner) and instead focus on the accomplishment that even the gesture itself provides.

* Do not vent your frustration by making sarcastic comments or yelling at the person. The damage you are doing to the person affected by elderly depression is impossible to quantify, but it will be substantial.

* If you are tempted to become critical of your loved one, do not give in to that temptation! Instead, go out of your way to find loveable qualities about the elderly person and in your mind highlight them at every opportunity.

* Do not ignore a worsening of the symptoms. In the same vein, do not ignore glaringly obvious side effects that may be occurring because of the medications your loved one is taking. Instead, make a note of the things you observe and bring them to his or her attention.

* Never ever accuse the elderly patient of being an attention seeker when she or he talks about suicide, but instead take it as a credible threat that must be dealt with immediately.

* Do not offer assistance in ways you cannot fulfill. Do not promise to take over your loved one's shopping, if you can barely get yours done. Do not offer to come and clean her or his house every week, if you have a family to take care of yourself and can barely get through your own chores. Instead, hire someone you trust to come in for some light housekeeping - perhaps at both of your homes!

* Do not allow others to pump you for information and do not betray confidences. If friends, family members, neighbors, and store clerks want information about your loved one's illness, kindly suggest that they should invite her or him out for tea, or give the person a call to see if they will be invited over. Whatever information your loved one is willing to share with others is up to her or him and not your concern.